Everybody's talking about it...

So I guess I'll give my take on it too...I don't really understand it, what's so hard about it? Of course a few billion people aren't going to agree. We have 2 choices, basically black or white, light or dark, nite or day. Well, it's really not that simple, or is it? Yes, today is the day that we vote a new leader into the office.

I look at it this way, the issues are all the same. And neither person is going to be either for them or against them. Because if you're for them, you'd belong to the respective party and vice versa. However, it's not neccessarily if you're for or against a specific issue, it's how you plan to deal with the issue. Subjects like abortion, war, crime, and the downward spiral of the economy aren't going to go away, so who has the best solution to these problems? It's not Christian vs secular either, wrap you're head around that one.

Maturity and "Smarts"

I have a best friend that I bounce a lot of my ideas off of. He's basically the voice of reason and who I look to for validation on most subjects of thought that I have. We see eye to eye 90% of the time. (Hey, we can't all be perfect). So recently I had a thought about the difference between being "smart" and being "intelligent." Which then in turn struck up a different attribute in my mind: maturity. How does someone become smart, intelligent, or mature?

When we're young and we don't know the words to express what we want at the time, what do we do? We simply cry. I'm talking full blown crying until you get what you want. Crying because you're hungry, tired, thirsty, hurt, scared, sad, mad, need changed, didn't get your way, fell down (even though you're not hurt, it just startled you), embarrassed....anything. Well, honestly, I hate to break it to you folks, but some people never fully grow out of this. Some people can't, honestly, it's just the way they were born, they have a chemical imbalance. I'm not one of these people, but I've had friends and relatives with this problem, and it is a very adverse situation for everyone involved to overcome. And you know what...I'm not going to lie, the other day, I was pretty sad about some circumstances that were completely out of my control, and I almost cried, all the way, but I realized it was stupid and stopped...that's what maturity is. Don't get me wrong, there are times that you need to cry, there are times when it is extremely appropriate, and to see someone cry, and show that emotion at that particular moment is a beautiful thing. But to see the opposite...I'll leave that sentence up to you to finish.

Example: Last year when I was going out an awful lot there was a girl that I saw quite frequently. Everytime I saw her, at some point in the night she cried. Sometimes, there were good reasons, other times, it was just maturity. But over the last year, I've been in contact with that person, and she has grown up quite a bit. However, it made a lot of people stray away from her, because they didn't know how to react to her emotional maturity.

By now, you're probably wondering what the hell am I getting at? Well, I once heard someone give me some words of wisdom "Maturity is the ability to cope." Those words have never meant more to me than now. There is a lot of really bad stuff going on in the world, and you have to learn to cope with it to be a successful human being. Many people try to cope by self-medication of drugs & alcohol. Don't get me wrong - I've never been one to turn down a beer...and I'm not saying I haven't done this before, but I'm saying that real maturity doesn't rely on foreign substances to cope with problems. It's just going to put you into a vicious cycle that's harder than hell to get out of. I suppose this could be considered a different form of "crying" about it. 

Almost everyone at some point is going to get their heart broken, lose their job, a family member, total your car, or just get put into a downright shitty situation. However, it's not about the unfortunate situation that has happened to you, it's about how you react to it. Taking responsibilities for our own actions, and pushing through to become a better person by the adversity we've faced. Although, I know many people that haven't reached this point. Who simply want to "cry" about it, and have some far-off-distant-fairytale-of-an-idea that somehow-someday-someway-someone is going to make things better for them and they'll live happily ever after without having to lift a finger.

Which brings me to the "smarts" concept. After you've come to that realization that you actually will have to lift a finger for the life you want to live. How are you going to go about doing it? This is a world that you have to have street smarts in, you've gotta learn how to talk to people, get out of your comfort zone and have some common sense. So many people in this world, go to school, get their degree, and all the sudden they think they're smart and ready to take on the world. Well, many people can go do school and be a complete idiot, believe me, I've witnessed it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bagging on academics here, they're extremely valuable, but so is common sense. There's a lot more to this world than what meets the eye and you'd better be able to handle it when it comes your way, and it will at some point or another. The catch is: we don't really know what it's like until we've experienced it, but some of us are even too afraid to experience the world.

As I write these things, if anyone even reads them, I want you to know that this is for me. I learned so much about myself in the 20 minutes that I sat hear and wrote it. Truth is, I want to keep writing, but I don't have time right now. And if you ever read any of my previous posts, or any future ones, I hope you know that. If you can pull something from it as well, then I'm glad I can help, but if not, I did, so it served some purpose.

Currently Listening Shudder By Bayside Boy see related

This is going to sound extremely arrogant,

...but I'm really having a hard time realizing and accepting that a lot of people from my hometown and college have moved to St. Louis as of late. For two people that I know will read this (I just saw you guys on Wednesday nite and had a great time) I'm not talking about you. I'm simply talking about people from small towns (or the college) that move out here because they think it will be great to live in a "big city." "I want to experience some urban culture," I hear people say. But life isn't like it is on TV. This isn't "Sex and the City."

It just really gets to me. I was having a conversation with my best friend, who recently moved here a couple years ago, and he brought up a good point. People that have this mentality are still somewhat tourists in the city that they live in. Honestly, I could see myself leaving St. Louis someday, but not anytime soon. I love this city so much. I feel like I know my way around here so well. I hardly ever get lost, and if I do, it's a matter of minutes before I know where I am again. I know the quickest route to almost anywhere in the city that I hang out at from any location. Except certain places that I avoid for certain reasons, but I wouldn't know to avoid them if I didn't have the seasoned experience of living here.

I grew up on a farm in southern Illinois for the first 16 years of my life. Then moved to a small town where I finished high school. I always dreamed of leaving this town, and never felt like I really fit in at all. There were times where I would just drive aimlessly longing for a place to go where I really felt like I belonged. When I turned 20 I got a gig working in the Sales and Marketing office at the Gateway Arch. I drove to the city everyday, taking the metro from the Queen across the river to the Landing. It seemed normal to me. Finally, I felt content, like that was where I was supposed to be.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think St. Louis is the best city in the world by any means. I've been lots of places I like better: Portland, Seattle, London, Amsterdam, San Francisco. But not to live in. St. Louis is home for me, always has been. I went to my first Cardinal game here when I was under the age of 5. I've went every year since then. I saw them tear down the St. Louis Arena, build the Kiel, Savvis, and Scottrade (which is all one building). I saw my first punk rock concert here. I cried when they tore down the old Busch Stadium. I was pissed when AB merged with InBev. I saw a world series, and super bowl be won here. I saw the home run record get broken. All of this is home to me. I've made amazing friends, and gotten to know them better within a calendar year than people I've known my whole life. I've also seen some extremely negative things happen. It seems that St. Louis was my first love that broke my heart, but wins it back everyday.

I had someone once tell me I deserved a key to the city.

I've been on a first name basis with bartenders of some of the most obscure bars in town, which aren't so obscure anymore. I've lived here for a while. But even when I was simply communiting, I always had a room to sleep in at a friends house. The commute didn't even bother me that much, because I was going somewhere I loved.

St. Louis - You are dirty, polluted, crowded, crime-ridden, and in some places an eyesore. However you are also beautiful, and our history will always keep me close to you. Regardless of your imperfections. Regardless of the fact that people treat you as a novelty. You will always have the utmost respect from me.

Currently Listening The Glass Passenger [Limited Edition CD/DVD] By Jack's Mannequin Resolution see related

The process continues...

As promised to myself and the rest of the xanga world that seems to be dwindling away, I will continue blogging.

I started this page about 5 years ago when I was 20 years old. During that period of life and a few years after, I went through a lot of changes and had many different experiences. I had graduated from HA, got my first "real" job, started a serious relationship, still traveling, and playing in a band that was pretty successful at a the local level. Back then I had so much energy. I remember waking up around 6:30 a.m. Going to work until 5. Getting off work, having band practice or a show, hang out at Denny's until 11 p.m. or midnite, get home around 1 or 2, then wake up and do it all again the next day. Now it seems by about 6 or 7 p.m. a nap is due, or I'm not going to make it past midnight. If a nap is not taken, I usually go to sleep around 11:30. I think the phrase "Work hard, play hard," can definitely be used to describe my actions. I have tons of fun on the weekends, but the weeknights are usually uneventful, save for the occasional Cardinal game, Happy Hour, or random concert.

I had a short conversation with a friend over the web today, and he explained to me that he is now engaged and getting ready to graduate college. He used the phrase "life came to me pretty quick." This made me stop and think about how life has kind of hit me all at once. All of the sudden, I'm seeing bills all over the place. For loans, credit cards, electricity, gas, internet, cable, car insurance, car loan, etc, etc. Not to mention your insurance policies, rent, gasoline, and grocery expenses. Even if you have the finances to cover these expenses, it's complicated. I spent 3 1/2 hours a few weeks ago trying to get license plates for my car. You have to have so many forms, and then a personal property tax receipt, not to mention the more than expensive amount of sales tax that you have to pay that isn't factored into your loan. For me, it's confusing, and I feel like I'm a fairly intelligent person with a decent amount of common sense...on the flip side, think of how confusing this must be for some people...

Once, I visited a college professor for a personal meeting. We spoke about how complicated it is to be an independant adult in the United States. You have all kinds of bills to pay, taxes, finances, insurance, etc. You have to make sure the bills get paid and the information is accurate. It's tough. Especially when it all gets thrown at you at once.

That brings me to my point: life hit me 3 months ago. It wasn't so much that I had found my purpose, or realized a goal that I was working towards. I just kind of realized what is really important to me in my life. What my assets are and what I want to do to protect those priorities and assets. At a certain point, you realize that you have something to lose, and you don't want to lose it. Even though there's bills piling up in the mailbox, the apartment needs to be cleaned, the cable & internet needs to be set up, I need to get my tax information and transcripts sent to the new school I'm applying for, and many other responsibilities have popped up, I'm happy. When you don't have any thing to lose you fly by the seat of your pants.

When you find you have something to lose...life happens.

Currently Listening Confidence Man By Matt Pryor see related

Halfway inbetween halfway...

When you're in your mid-twenties...it seems you're half-expected to be an immature screwup, and you're half-expected to be a mature adult. Our demographic is divided, half are kids with no direction still waiting to find out what they want to do with their life; still finding themselves. The other half are people who seem to have it together. Seem to be on the right track with their career. Married, maybe a child, maybe a dog, maybe even own their own home.

I'm halfway inbetween the halfway. I love my job, it makes me want to go back to school, get a degree, so I can go even further. I like managing my money to pay my bills. I like sitting at home with my girlfriend, watching the Olympics and playing Dr. Mario. I like cooking my own food. I like finding ways to cut corners on saving money. I like being responsible. I like having a new car. It seems this transformation somewhat happened overnight. I wasn't always this way. I used to not care about any of this. Now, I'm scared to lose it.

I'm scared to go back to my old ways. Not knowing how to save money. Never staying home. Not having health insurance. Having a bum car. Constantly sleeping; exhausted from late nights out. Never getting anything done on time. I simply wanted to live through the day, just to get to the next. Now that I have something to lose, after I've worked so hard for it, I'm scared to lose it. Now, I enjoy the day, I enjoy going to work, taking care of myself and my home, and respecting my job.

I'd honestly like to sit down and ask some people that I know: "When was the last time you set a goal and achieved it?" "What's your motivation in life?" "Where's your ambition?"

The reason why people don't set goals is because they have no motivation, they have no motivation because they have no ambition, and they have no ambition because they have no direction and no direction because they have no vision. A vision-to me is an idea of where I want to be with my life. It's not always clear, it's not always there, but I have some kind of idea of what it is all the time. To work towards that, I set goals, short term and long term.

It's all a game, it's a catch 22. You have to complete the short term goals to reach the long term ones. This doesn't seem that hard, but it is. It's easier for some than it is for others. On the flip side, I firmly believe some people take years grow (maturity wise) past their mid-twenties. You get stuck in a rut of indecisiveness, loss of direction, or apathy.

It also seems that people don't open up to others. There's no support system. They're not willing to tell others their feelings, so they just self-medicate and try to deal with things alone. People need other people. Plain and simple. It's healthy to tell someone what's on your mind, or simply just to write it down. I just hope that there's a better future for our generation than. So many people hate their jobs and are just doing their job for money to survive.

I hope that I can be one to push to the latter group. A world changer, an example that with a hard work ethic, determination, and drive, I can make things happen for myself.

I don't see anything wrong with being young and acting young...it just takes a while to realize how old you are and how to act that age out. We're only young once, but that doesn't mean we should screw up our future by trying to "live" while we're young.

Currently Listening More Noise and Other Disturbances By The Mighty Mighty Bosstones see related